Grass Clippings
by Order of Arcadia
Summary: Five chapters of the promised Deleted Scenes from Grass Whistle! Mostly Dr. Julien's POV, during or after the main story. No slash, as always.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: At long last, the addendum to Grass Whistle arrives!** **To kick off this five-part collection of deleted scenes, here is my special present to everyone who wanted to see more Dr. Julien and Nya—a little chat that the nerd dad and nerd daughter probably had at some point on the Dark Island.**

 **Some spoilers for the (AWESOME) backstory revealed in Sons of Garmadon, but I'm sure we've all seen that season by now.**

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 **Grass Clippings**

Dr. Julien couldn't remember the last time building had been this much fun.

For one thing, engineering and construction of his creations had always been a solitary practice for him. Few of his family members or neighbors back home had quite shared his peculiar passion when he was growing up; as an adult, he'd been utterly alone in the Birchwood Forest workshop.

Even when Zane came along, equally fascinated with machines, he had never quite been a peer to his father in creating them. The Falcon, for instance, had been Zane's idea—Julien's execution.

He hadn't minded it too much. Julien had created Zane to be able to choose what he liked, and he had. Even if he sometimes wished for someone else to share his hobby, he wasn't going to grudge his son that choice.

And then, there was Lloyd, who with just a little bit of instruction was coming along nicely as an apprentice; and the girl—N-something...oh dear...Nya!—who was already a genius in her own right, the first one he'd met in years, and with all her life ahead of her too.

So much young talent. Between the two of them, they both talked at a million miles an hour and always seemed to have so much going through their heads at once. It was all very exciting.

Julien found himself at the back fender of the combat vehicle with Nya while she set some wires under the chassis. Conversation had turned to Samurai X, the mech that had made it possible, and the adventures she'd been on with the boys.

She looked a little jealous and despondent as she stared into the jungle. The other boys had left for their mission long ago.

Julien found himself wringing his hands. It was clear she was upset.

"And yet," he asked slowly, "they left without you?"

Nya sounded too chipper to be honest. "Oh, you know," she said, partly singing her words. "They're the ninja! Going off on their...great adventures."

She went back to work in the mess of wires."Like Sensei said," she added, completely factual, "the final battle belongs to the ninja." She sighed, and the last words were hardly a whisper. "No place in destiny for a samurai."

Julien twiddled his thumbs, unable to focus on his work. He had to come up with a way to sympathize. He absolutely knew how she felt—he'd _been_ there.

He settled on a distraction and a story.

"Not to change the subject," he said, putting his screwdriver back to work, "but...how do you think I felt, when I discovered that my son was one of the ninja?"

Her head flew up, and she stared, clearly caught off guard. "Uh, proud? Happy?" She shrugged. "Maybe surprised?"

"All of that, yes," he answered. It was true enough. "And yet, there was a part of me that felt pushed to the side—like I was no longer as important as he."

She couldn't meet his eyes, and she stared at the bowels of the panel in front of her.

Ah. Right on the money.

"I'm not an elemental master, Nya," Julien went on, keeping his voice as gentle as he could. "Normally the powers are passed down from parent to child, but Zane received his abilities from the last Master of Ice. And because I had nothing to do with it, there were times I felt...dispensable."

He was wringing his hands again. It was utterly terrifying, being this vulnerable.

But Nya sighed and simply turned to watch at the blue waves teasing at the shore. "I know the feeling."

Lloyd was busy hammering blades onto the drill at the front fender, and the _CLANG CLANG CLANG_ was probably why he couldn't hear them talking. Nya began to pace.

"It's always Kai." She was beginning to rant. "It's always _been_ Kai. I've never been able to measure up. First he's older than me," she said, gesturing widely in front of her, "and then he's a guy so he's stronger than me, and then he goes and becomes a ninja! And I'm left in the dust."

Nya's arms dropped to her sides, and her voice got quiet and sad. "Father always said we could be anything we ever wanted. But all I wanted was to be good enough." She hung her head. "To be like my brother."

Julien nodded. He traced a seam on the chassis with one finger. "It's ugly, isn't it?" he whispered. "To feel that you aren't needed?"

"But I know I am!" she cried. Julien looked up in surprise as she stepped forward. "That's just it. Samurai X fought alongside the ninja lots of times. Even if my mech isn't here, I could do more than this. I could be stronger. But I don't know _how_.

"So I'm here, making machines, while the boys go off on adventures." She huffed a sigh and knocked the heel of her hand on the driller. "And I don't say anything, because I'm _scared_."

Nya set her forehead against the metal surface in front of her.

Julien frowned. He stepped forward, took off his glasses, and put his hand on her shoulder.

"I completely understand," he said gently. "But perhaps..." He rolled the bridge of his glasses between his thumb and finger and tried to collect his thoughts. "Perhaps we can take comfort in the fact that it's better to be weak on the side of good than strong on the side of evil." He added darkly, "I know that from experience."

Nya raised her head, a tiny, sympathetic frown on her face. "You know that no one can hold you responsible for what Samukai forced you to do," she said.

"No, of course," he countered. "But I did it anyway. I can't dismiss it."

She glanced away as if in thought.

He took his hand from her shoulder and placed his glasses back on his nose to look over the driller vehicle. This enormous machine was almost complete, and when it was finished, it would be used to fight a battle in which he couldn't participate himself.

But maybe that was all right.

"My part to play may be small indeed," said Julien. He'd already made up his mind about this. "Perhaps I'll never be a major player in this game. But as long as I may be on the right side...that's enough for me."

Nya smiled at him, but it melted away soon enough. "I wish it was enough for me."

Julien smiled. "You're still young," he said. "Perhaps you'll find your way to make a difference some way that nobody expected."

Nya didn't answer again, but this time, the look in her eyes was more hopeful.

"If destiny has no place for you," Julien went on slowly—and maybe this was what he wanted her to hear all along, "then you will create a place for yourself. Whether it's big or small, it _will_ be important."

He couldn't help but chuckle. "We may have only met a few days ago, but I know a force to be reckoned with when I meet it. I can't imagine it working out any other way."

Nya laughed, light and carefree like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. And then she leaned in and hugged him.

Oh, darned socks. She was taller than him too.

"Thanks," Nya said into his shoulder, and her voice sounded tiny and happy.

"You're welcome," answered Julien, and he returned the embrace as gently as he could.

What a remarkable, remarkable girl.

But he still couldn't help being nervous. "I guess I did all right, then?" he asked when she let him go. "I never had a daughter. I don't know exactly how to..."

Nya gave a small laugh. "You did great." Her smile got bittersweet and rubbed her hand up her arm. "Dad used to say the same thing."

Julien's smile felt incredibly shy.

She returned a similar smile and spun a pair of wire trimmers in her hand. "Well...back to work, I guess. Our little part in destiny!"

Julien laughed. "Indeed."

Absolutely remarkable.

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 **A/N: Julien just adopts everybody without even trying. I'll continue to post more of these deleted scenes as I finish writing them!**

 **Reviews are compliments.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So in the reviews for Grass Whistle, The Night Ninja suggested a chapter in which Garmadon asks Dr. Julien for parenting advice. I absolutely loved the idea to death (not to mention I have some delicious headcanons regarding their strained friendship that you'll get to enjoy in this chapter hon hon hon), but a conversation between the two main dads of that fic would have broken the Lloyd-only POV and the overall flow of the story.**

 **I still love the idea, however, so here it is: the conversation between Garmadon and Julien at Lou's party.**

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Julien met Lloyd's father at the snack table. The latter man just walked up and dipped himself a cup of punch, and when he met Julien's eye and smiled, Julien smiled back.

"Hello," said the grey-haired man in the gi.

"Hello," Julien answered, and neither of them said anything more for a while.

Lloyd's father leaned against the snack table, and Julien leaned on the beam of the house holding up the porch, as the both of them watched the festivities underway.

Julien really didn't know what to make of the man beside him. His first introduction, of course, had been Lloyd's description of his father; though his childhood had been terribly negligent, Lloyd didn't seem to harbor any ill will towards him.

That, of course, had put them in a bit of a pickle when the man that Lloyd cared about so much was actually a pitch black, red-eyed, four-armed demon and also the Lord of Darkness that they were trying to defeat. It was a bit _more_ of a pickle when the Lord of Darkness turned into a colossal dragon.

But now, here he was—looking perfectly normal, human, sane, and not far from Julien's age, actually.

It was all perfectly mind-boggling. So Julien took the only course of action he could think of: friendly conversation.

"So...you're the man of the hour, eh?" he asked lightly.

Lloyd's father didn't show any surprise; he just chuckled. "In a manner of speaking, I suppose." He extended his free hand. "Garmadon."

Julien held back a wince as red momentarily flashed across his eyes. "Julien," he said, taking the man's hand to shake it. "I'm Zane's father."

Garmadon raised a grey eyebrow. He had to be aware that Zane was an android—but to his credit, he didn't address the elephant in the room. "It's a pleasure," he said instead. "I believe you have already met my son."

And at that, Julien didn't have to fake a smile. "I sure have! He's a very bright boy, and an excellent friend. You should be very proud."

Garmadon's calculatedly calm expression didn't lift, but the look in his eyes did brighten a little. "I am," he said, and Julien could hear the sincerity in his voice. "But it's good to have more reasons."

He leaned against the table again, swirling the last dregs of the punch in his cup for a moment. "He does seem comfortable with you," he added, as if in a second thought.

Julien shrugged. "I've spent a lot of time with him these last few weeks. The others were always out on their missions, and it was just us two. And the girl. Nya! Oh, dear," he said, pressing a hand to his forehead, "I must be getting old."

"Watch in front of whom you say that," Garmadon said sternly, but with a twinkle in his eye. Then he stared into his cup and sighed.

Julien bit down the anxiety starting to close up his throat. "Something the matter?"

"Lloyd," Garmadon answered abruptly. "It's come to my attention that rebuilding our relationship is going to be...more difficult than I first anticipated."

Julien didn't say anything, but he frowned in sympathy and waited for an explanation.

Garmadon's voice was quiet. "Both of us wish to have something better than has been available to us. I suppose I just don't know how to go about it."

And that, Julien found almost hilarious. The otherworldly lord of darkness, up until recently their enemy, was now just an unsure father looking for answers.

He had to admit that he liked the change.

"Are you asking for help?" asked Julien, daring to tease the man a little bit.

Garmadon raised an eyebrow and gave him a wry grin. "If a self-proclaimed friend of my son is willing to offer it, then yes."

Calculated, as always. Julien smiled and leaned against the beam, raising his own glass of punch to his lips. "Well, you don't have to start with me," he said kindly. "Any one of them can tell you what he's like." He waved with his cup at the dance floor where Lloyd was dancing to Cole's booming music with the other young ones and having a great time.

"I...suppose they could. But..." Garmadon's voice fell. "You said it yourself that you're also a father." He turned to Julien, a question in his expression.

And Julien was not so dense to miss what he meant. He nodded. "I'd be glad to help. Just..." He hesitated, rubbing his fingers where the blue veins showed. "If you could answer one question first."

Garmadon raised both of his eyebrows at once. Ah—so that's where Lloyd got it from. "Name it," he said.

Julien sighed heavily and leaned more on the beam. It was painful to go back to all of this; and he didn't quite trust his own knees to keep him standing up.

"It's a long story," he began, not looking at Garmadon, and his voice sounded so very weak. "Several years ago, I actually died of old age. I was at rest, but band of skeletons resurrected me against my will and held me prisoner."

Against his better judgement, he stole a glance at Garmadon, and the man's face was white with horror and dread.

Julien laboriously forced himself to continue, not looking at him. "They forced me to build war vehicles that could travel into and out of the Underworld..."

He heard a crack. The glass in Garmadon's hand had sprung a fracture. "No," he muttered. "Oh, no."

Almost finished. Julien took a deep breath. "The leader of them said that they answered to...'Lord Garmadon'." The name still felt sour on his tongue. He finally mustered the strength to look at the other man's face.

Garmadon's face was a study in horror and guilt, and his hands were shaking. "I am... _so_ sorry," he managed.

Well. That answered that question. Julien shut his eyes and leaned against the pillar, feeling drained and light-headed.

"Never mind I said anything," Garmadon said, almost stumbling over his words with how fast he talked. "I understand if you want nothing more to do with me. I'll just go. Thank you for your time and—"

"You haven't answered the question," Julien interrupted gently, his eyes still shut.

Garmadon's voice sounded bleak. "What is it?"

Julien opened his eyes and turned, weakly, to look at the grey-haired man standing across from him.

He knew that expression. That look of regret, of guilt, of wanting to be anywhere but here but having nowhere to go because you've done the inexcusable and it's too much.

He knew that look very, very well.

It had been his.

And quietly, Julien asked, "Would you be humble enough to accept my forgiveness?"

Garmadon's eyes shot wide. They were green...like Lloyd's. "Yes," he said, almost coughing it out. He lunged forward, took Julien's free hand, and wrung it in joy. "Yes, and thank you," he cried earnestly. "Julien, was it? Thank you. I owe you the world."

Julien smiled, the strength returning to him, and set his cup down on the table to clasp Garmadon's hands. "Nonsense," he said. "We're friends."

It took a while for Garmadon to let go of his hand, and longer for either of them to find anything to say.

"Did you know he was my son?" asked Garmadon. It was hardly a whisper.

Julien nodded, completely serious. "I learned so, eventually."

"And yet...?" His face was full of confusion and disbelief.

Julien looked him in the eye. "We already knew each other well by then," he said seriously. "He was nothing like what you were. How could I judge him for his father's actions?"

Garmadon gave a somber nod.

Julien found himself smiling a little. "Now, on the other hand, I can see the resemblance."

Garmadon shot him a single look of disbelief and then shook his head, a smile coming to his face. "You're a saint," he said.

Julien couldn't look him in the eye. "I'd settle for a good man."

"Then that you are. Easily."

It was the utter surety in his voice that made Julien smile. He took a deep breath, replacing all of the past conversation with fresh air. "Right, then," he added more lightly. "You asked for advice?"

Garmadon looked surprise, but he found control over himself in a moment. "Ah! Yes. Something come to you?"

"Indeed." The grin on Julien's face felt dangerously like a smirk. "Do you know how to make a grass whistle?"

Garmadon looked confused, and then almost offended. "I was one of two children living isolated in a monastery surrounded by nature," he said seriously. "I should _hope_ I know how to make such a simple thing."

"Good!" said Julien. "Lloyd enjoys games like that. You should play with him sometime. But first, if you want to connect with the boy—have some fun!" And with that, he grabbed the flabbergasted man's wrist and dragged him onto the dance floor.

Garmadon almost knocked Lloyd over, and Julien took advantage of the distraction to slip away and retrieve his drink from the table. He hid in a corner and watched the fun as Garmadon tried desperately to dance in a way that didn't embarrass him and Lloyd bent over laughing until he almost fell over.

Julien had to smile to himself.

Yes. This was the very best kind of revenge.

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 **A/N: hEY DID I EVER TELL YOU ABOUT MY CRACK BROMANCE *is slapped***

 **It cracks me up that these two have the same voice actor. I'm going on vacation this upcoming week, but it should probably be pretty chill, so I should have time to write. Stay tuned for the next deleted scenes!**

 **Reviews are harmless revenge.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: It rained today, so we're taking a lazy day. Time to write! This one is set a little after Dr. J got situated in the schoolhouse.**

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"Well, this is it," Nya said, gesturing meekly to the huge red machine in front of her. "The original Samurai X mech."

Julien had to step back to take in the whole thing. He hardly came up to the enormous machine's knees. Huge arms, a sword like a beam of a house clutched in the golden claws, towered over his head. A golden spiral shielded the cockpit opened in the chest area, and two huge black canons sat on the hulking shoulders.

Julien whistled and couldn't hold back a grin. "Incredible," he said through giddy laughter.

"Oh, thanks." Nya rubbed her heel into the floor, her smile a mixed one of humility and pride. "Wanna take a look?"

"May I?" He beamed at her.

Nya shook her head and hit a button on her bracelet, causing the machine to go down on one knee and open all of its panelling to expose the workings inside. Julien rushed forward and started to poke around.

"Absolutely unbelievable," he muttered as she left and returned with a set of light stairs on wheels. Then he asked over his shoulder, "And you built this out of parts from a village blacksmith shop?"

"Yeah," she said with a smile. Her voice was tinged with slight regret. "I had to buy a _few_ components like the homing device from markets when I couldn't build them myself, but the main framework is all homemade, and it shows."

Nya stood on the floor, arms crossed, as he climbed the stairs. "She runs just fine," she continued, "but I've had a problem with the joints freezing mid-battle ever since the fight with the Great Devourer. Managed to find some overrides and work-arounds, but it's all only a patch."

"Hm." Julien was thinking hard as he poked around in the machine's chest. His flashlight's beam fell on something unusual, and he took a double-take. "Well, why in Ninjago do you have this?"

"What?" asked Nya's voice far below.

Julien stuck his head out of the machine and answered, "A ten-gauge pulmonizer engine." He tapped it lightly with the edge of the flashlight, and it clanged bluntly. "Ancient, too, almost from my time. Models in my day were known for stalling under unusual heat or high pressure."

Even from this distance, he could see the lightbulb go off over her head. "So you're saying the mech just stopped working because it got overheated?"

"Yes, exactly!" He held onto the handrails and climbed down the stairs backwards, still talking. "I ran into the same problem building the Juggernaut. If you want a high-power combat machine like this to last," he said, and his feet finally hit the garage floor, "I'd suggest a parts change. Perhaps a subatomic filibuster for the internal power coupled with an—"

Nya's brown eyes blew up wide, and both she and Julien said excitedly: "Oscillating newtonic thermal stabilizer!"

"Doc, you're a _genius!_ " cried Nya, and she leaped onto him and threw her arms around his neck.

He chuckled, flattered, and patted her back. "So I hear." When she let him go, he smiled warmly and asked, "I take it that helps you, then?"

"Yup!" She couldn't stop smiling. "I know I've got a stabilizer in the junk heap somewhere. I'm gonna go install it right now!" And with that, she dashed away, still grinning.

Her boyfriend, on the other hand, leaned against the wall in a nearby corner of the garage, an obvious pout on his face and a thundercloud over his head.

Julien frowned. This boy was the blue one, that he could remember—though he wasn't in the distinguishing gi, he wore jeans and a hoodie of the right color. Julien couldn't remember the red-headed boy's name, but perhaps he could get around that. "Something the matter?" he asked gently.

"What?" The teen's head flew up, and then he laughed lamely. " _No!_ No, of course not! Nothing's the matter," he rambled, becoming progressively more irate, "it's not like I've been trying for weeks to fix a machines problem that my _girlfriend_ has had for a couple of _months_ , only for it to turn out to be a simple case of _the wrong_ _parts!_ "

He nearly shouted that last bit, flailing his lanky arms in the air in frustration, but then his arms dropped by his sides and he exhaled, pasting a grin on his face. "Nope, fine, nothing wrong at all."

Julien could see the blue ninja turning a little green. He twirled the flashlight in his hand. "You know," he said slowly, "she talks about you all the time."

The boy froze. "She does?" He sounded skeptical.

"Oh, definitely." Some instances were starting to come to Julien's mind now, and with it, the boy's name. A double victory. "'Jay was so good at this' and 'Jay helped me with that' and 'Jay was so cool when so and so'. Oh, how was it she put it…?"

He tapped the edge of the flashlight on his chin and pretended not to notice Jay turning red in the face and hanging on his words like a dog hangs on a bone.

"Something about the 'curly red hair and little smile that makes her insides melt'..." Julien frowned. It sounded _much_ better coming from her than him. "Goodness, kids do talk strangely nowadays."

Jay was now absolutely and totally red, and he buried his face in his hands. Julien could see the steam rising off of the boy, and he had to stifle a chuckle.

"For real?" Jay squeaked. He cleared his throat and tried to act nonchalant, but he still blushed. "I mean, for real?"

"Yes, 'for real'." Julien assured him with a smile. "She's very fond of you."

"Ah, well, you know," he said, swaggering with false confidence, "the ninja thing, heh—goes over well with the ladies..." Jay faltered and buried his face in his hands again. "She's amazing."

Julien elbowed him in the ribs. "And she keeps telling me about _her_ amazing boyfriend. You're lucky to have each other."

"Yeah. Yeah, definitely," Jay agreed. He didn't look Julien in the eye, but all traces of jealousy were gone, and he looked far more relaxed.

"Jay!" Nya's voice preceded her. She popped her head into the garage and jabbed her thumb back the way she came. "This thing is heavy. Can you help me out, please?"

"Oh!" cried Jay. "Uh, sure! Coming, Nya!" And he ran to her side.

Julien finally allowed himself a chuckle, and he returned to poking around in the Samurai mech. Ah, kids and their young love.

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 **A/N: I headcanon that Julien absolutely adopted the two engineering nerds once he got back to Ninjago. Also, canonical technobabble allows me to get around the fact that I know diddly-squat about building machines at all.**

 **Reviews are flashlights.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: A little bit more Jaya and then some of Lloyd. I'm heading back home from vacation tomorrow; back to a regular schedule of will-write-when-not-working. *wink***

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"No hanky-panky in my garage," chided Julien, lifting his head from out of the vehicle's hood.

Jay and Nya, who were not about to do anything worse than kiss each other but were still standing inside the wide door of Julien's garage, groaned loudly in protest.

"Shut up, Dad!" snapped Jay.

All three of them fell silent for a second, staring at each other, as they realized what he'd said. Then the garage erupted in laughter.

"I wasn't aware that I'd been adopted!" cried Julien, holding on to the vehicle to stay upright.

"You're not my real father!" Nya screeched and tore out the door.

It took Julien a second to figure out that she'd just been joking, but Jay doubled over, laughing even harder, until his chest was almost on his knees.

Nya waltzed back into the garage, grinning and shaking a little with giggles. "Leave us alone, Dad," she said.

"Go back to bed, Dad," Jay added.

"Ooh, I _like_ that second one!" said Julien, pointing at them with a grin.

Nya held her sides and laughed even harder.

* * *

"Now, about calling my father 'Dad'..." said Zane.

"Uh-oh," Jay gulped.

"If he does not mind it, you have my full blessing," said Zane. He smiled brightly at Jay and Nya. "I'm just delighted that my brothers and sister are so fond and accepting of my father."

"But..." Nya said slowly. She shared a quick look with Jay. "We're calling him our _dad_."

Zane raised one white eyebrow. "It's a term of endearment, isn't it?"

Jay scrunched up his nose and thought about that for a second. "Yes?"

"Then I see no problem." Zane turned and wandered away into the kitchen. "I have to check on the roast now."

Jay didn't register that the sharp pain in his ribs was Nya's elbow until she was whispering harshly in his ear, "I _told_ you!"

"Well, how was I supposed to know?" he yell-whispered back. "I know _I'd_ think it's weird."

"Zane's so sweet to share his dad with us." She tipped her head slightly and smiled off into the distance, her hands clasped in front of her.

"I know," said Jay. "I'm gonna get a toothache."

Nya elbowed him so hard it knocked the wind out of him.

* * *

It was a late summer afternoon in between press junkets, and the warm breeze was wafting in through the schoolhouse break room's open windows. Lloyd sat on the bench, his legs swinging, and breathed in the fresh air and the chatter around him.

Uncle Wu was busy somewhere else, but the guys were all there, and so was Nya, and Dr. Julien sat nearby, mostly sketching something but also interjecting in the conversation now and then.

Lloyd leaned toward the old doc to get his attention. "You were right, you know," he whispered, just loud enough to be heard over the talk.

"Hm?" Julien looked up, peering at Lloyd through the round glasses. "Right about what?"

Lloyd felt a tiny grin come to his face. "You remember what you said at the party a few months ago?"

The doc's face screwed up in confusion, and then he smiled wryly. " You're asking the old fellow if he remembers—"

Lloyd started to laugh. "All right, all right, I get it! You said that I should talk to my dad and tell him I believe in him and everything."

The doc's eyes lit up in recognition. "Oh, of course! Yes! Did it work?"

"I just said that," replied Lloyd with a grin. "Yes. You were right."

By that time, the others had stopped talking, and they must have overheard. "Gee, Dad, pay attention when the kid is talking," cracked Kai.

"Yeah, really, Dad," added Jay with a smirk.

Dr. Julien chuckled, the lines around his eyes crinkling.

Lloyd felt his face heating up, and he crossed his arms. "I slip up _one time_ , guys—"

"Never gonna let you live it down," Kai said with a mean grin.

Lloyd groaned and turned to Dr. Julien. "Why'd you have to tell them?" he asked.

"In my defense, _they_ started calling me that all of their own accord," answered the doc, jabbing the eraser of his pencil at Jay and Nya.

"Speaking of which," piped up Nya, "I worked out the catch in the subatomic filibuster in the garage, Dad."

"That's great news!" answered Julien.

Lloyd groaned again and thumped the back of his head on the wall.

"I helped!" cried Jay, waving his hand in the air.

"He helped," Nya said with an indulgent smile.

"Hey, green-bean." That was Cole. Lloyd lifted his head to look at him. "You gonna be able to stay for dinner? Zane's cookin'."

Lloyd frowned and sat up straight. "Why are you guys having dinner this early?"

"What are you talking about?" asked Kai, waving at the clock. "It's like...five-thirty."

Lloyd jumped. "Oh, my gosh!" He leaped across the room and grabbed his shoes by the door. "Sorry, guys, I can't. I'm already gonna be late!"

"I thought you might say that." Zane breezed out of the schoolhouse kitchen, a brown paper bag folded shut in his hand and a slight smile of triumph on his face. "I packed you something for the road."

His shoes finally on, Lloyd exhaled, smiled at Zane, and jumped up to hug him. "You're the best, Zane," he said. Then he jumped down, snatched up the bag, and ran around hugging everyone else. "Bye, guys!"

"See ya, Lloyd!" said Jay when it was his turn. "Ow! Watch the ribs..."

"Don't get into trouble, pipsqueak." Cole took the opportunity to give Lloyd a noogie.

Lloyd laughed. "Right back at'cha."

Kai ruffled his hair and said, "Love you, you nerd."

"Love you too." And after hugging Nya and the doc, Lloyd headed out the door. "See you guys later. Say bye to Sensei for me!"

There was a general chorus of goodbyes, but they all kind of melted into one. "Bye, Lloyd!"

He grinned and bolted out the door.

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 **A/N: Had to rearrange some things slightly. The Night Ninja suggested Lloyd comforting Zane after Dr. Julien's death, and I had to fit that in. That'll be next update. But this is the end of all the deleted scenes I came up with when writing Grass Whistle; I hope you enjoyed them.**

 **Reviews are paper bags.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: It's Sunday, my dudes. A perfect day for angst and tears and wrapping up a story. Once again, credit for this idea goes to The Night Ninja.**

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Lloyd had come home for Dr. Julien's funeral. It was a simple, quiet affair; he couldn't pick out a face in the meager crowd that he didn't know. They all talked in hushed whispers or stood around looking sadly at each other, and all there was to explain why they were there was a picture of the old doctor's smiling face set between burning candles and incense.

Lloyd stared at the little display for several minutes. He knew in his head what had happened, but the reality of it just seemed so far away. And he stared, watching, waiting for it all to sink in and at the same time hoping it didn't.

"You came." The voice was soft, familiar, and full of melancholy.

Lloyd turned around to see two familiar blue eyes in a strained smile. "Zane!"

He hugged his big brother as tightly as he dared. Zane was tall and usually reserved—not nearly as huggy as Cole or noogie-prone as Kai—but he wrapped his long arms around Lloyd's shoulders and held on just a little longer than he usually did.

Lloyd wished he could push all the comfort in the world through that hug and into Zane. He couldn't, really; he could only offer his own, and that wasn't much.

But it was enough.

When Zane finally let go, Lloyd pulled away and looked up at him sadly. "I had to be here for you," he explained.

Zane smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. Lloyd didn't blame him. "Thank you," he said.

Just then, Ed and Edna walked though the door, leaning on each other's arms as if they were walking into a hospital room. Jay looked up from his conversation with the others and met them at the door, where they talked in more whispers.

Zane had already looked up and was watching them, a look of gratitude and resignation in his eyes.

Lloyd knew that he probably had to go talk to them, so he tugged on Zane's sleeve gently and said, "We'll talk later."

Zane glanced down at him again and nodded somberly. "I'd like that."

* * *

The guys, Nya, and Uncle Wu retreated back to the schoolhouse after it was over, and Lloyd went with them. While Wu drank tea, they sat around in the break room talking—the only thing that felt right to do anymore—but Lloyd couldn't help but stare at his hands and feel like one bench in particular felt empty.

"Hey. Where's Zane?"

Lloyd looked up as soon as he heard Kai's question, and then he paid more attention to the people around him. Zane had disappeared.

"He was just here a second ago," Jay said with a frown.

Nya sighed and set her hand on his arm. "Let's give him some space. He probably needs it, after...everything."

Her face screwed up a little, and Jay put his arm around her and hugged her. Kai looked over at his sister and frowned, and then he looked away with a thundercloud over his head.

"What if...he needs help?" asked Lloyd. His voice felt weak.

"Healing of the heart does not come easy," Uncle Wu said quietly for the first time that night, "but it may be found both in company and in solitude. If Zane needs us, he knows where to find us. But he has had our company, and now perhaps he seeks comfort alone."

"He is kinda a loner..." Cole's bushy eyebrows pressed together as he thought it over. "You guys remember when he found out he was a nindroid."

"Yeah, come to think of it, we weren't much help there," Jay agreed sheepishly. He was still hugging Nya.

"Well, we helped by getting beat up, but I don't wanna do that again," groused Kai. He snuck another glance at Nya.

Wu nodded. "So you see that she is right. If Zane does not appear by dinner, we will have cause to worry. But for now, we'd do best not to intrude."

Nya was wiping her eyes. The others nodded and agreed, and after a short, awkward silence, they went back to talking about other things.

But Lloyd couldn't get it out of his head that he'd promised Zane that they'd talk later, so when he thought it wouldn't be too obvious, he got up, slipped out of the room, and went looking for Zane.

He checked both floors twice and Zane's room three times, but there wasn't any sign of him anywhere. Zane's shoes were by the door, so he couldn't have gone out unless he went barefoot, and Lloyd was starting to believe he'd just vanished into thin air.

And then he remembered his own secret place to go when he wanted to be alone and no one to find him. He booked it up the stairs to the second floor, walked to the end of a short hall, and pulled on a string that hung from the ceiling.

* * *

Lloyd almost winced when he climbed on the roof; not from pain, but from a bad memory. The last time he was on the roof of a school was with Pythor.

The sun was setting, and the part of the sky that wasn't orange was turning deep, murky blue. He could even point out some of the brightest stars.

And there was Zane. He wasn't close to the edge of the roof, but he wasn't close to the trap door either, and it took Lloyd just a second to make out his dark, hunched shape on the roof.

The tiles slanted precariously under Lloyd's feet as he walked over to Zane and sat down beside him.

Zane looked up and offered a smile.

That was permission to stay.

Lloyd tried to smile back, and then they both sat and stared at the sunset for a while.

Lloyd played with his sleeves. "So...how are you doing?" he asked softly.

Zane didn't answer for a while. It was almost as if he had to pull the words out from deep inside of him.

"I think you know." His voice wasn't unkind, but it was monotonous and sad.

Lloyd frowned. "No, I don't. Not really." He'd tried so hard to put himself in Zane's place all day and he couldn't, not for real. But if what Zane felt was just five times as bad as Lloyd felt, knowing that Julien was gone...

Lloyd sunk his face into his arms, tears burning at his eyes. "Nothing like this has ever happened to me before."

Zane was quiet for a while. "Your father..." he finally said slowly.

Lloyd shook his head. "That's different. He was only gone for like, five minutes." He paused, then finally dared to look up at Zane, and his heart felt like it would shrivel up and die just looking at him. "But you..."

Zane stared at the sunset, not blinking. The orange light was reflecting in his eyes. He raised one hand and stared at it, speaking slowly. "When I first met you and my brothers, I was wholly unaware of my background. All of my memories of my upbringing had been erased.

"When I accessed them again..." Zane's hand closed into a fist. "I remembered my father, but I also remembered his death." He started to rub his wrist and palm with the thumb of his other hand, and his voice started to catch a little. "I had him, and then I lost him. And the pain was both old and new, because it had been with me all my life, but I was just rediscovering it then."

Lloyd didn't say anything. He knew Zane had to get it out; he hoped it was helping. He also hoped that he wouldn't be crying by the end of this.

"It was only because Destiny smiled on us that I got him back at all." Zane pressed both hands into his chest, one wrapped tightly around the other, and for the first time Lloyd started to see pain flash across his face.

When Zane spoke again, his voice broke. "And now I've _lost_ him again."

Lloyd could feel his face screwing up. He tried to ignore the watery blur in his eyes.

"I want him back." Zane had pulled his knees in and he hugged himself like a little kid, shaking, as tears started to come down his cheeks. "I know I shouldn't, but I want him back."

It was almost scary. Zane had always been the stoic one, almost aloof to frustration and cool under pressure; Lloyd had never seen him break like this. But more importantly, it was his brother that was hurting, and Lloyd reached forward and hugged Zane's side as tight as he could because he couldn't do anything more.

"I might not be the expert on this," he said quietly, "but I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to be with your dad."

"But it's selfish," cried Zane. He looked at Lloyd earnestly with tears in his eyes, as if he was trying to get him to understand. "It had already been too long, and he was in pain..."

Zane turned away and bit the knuckle of his first finger.

 _Oh, geez..._ Lloyd didn't trust himself to talk without getting choked up, so he just turned Zane toward him so that he could hug him properly, and Zane buried his head in Lloyd's shoulder and wept into his shirt.

Lloyd bit his lower lip _hard. I won't cry I won't cry I won't..._

He cried.

And in the end...that was okay. Julien had been a great friend, and Lloyd was going to miss him a lot. Maybe not as much as Zane, but it still hurt really, really bad, and if he was going to get it out somehow, it might as well be with someone who was hurting from it too.

Besides, Zane was crying. _Zane_.

And Lloyd didn't want him to be alone.

Lloyd let Zane decide when the hug was over again. It wasn't over for a long, long time—and until then, Lloyd was comfortable just being there for him.

But when Zane finally let go, wiping his eyes, he looked at Lloyd and whispered, "Thank you."

Lloyd's smile was shaky, and so was his voice. "N-no problem."

They turned back to the sunset again; it was almost gone behind the horizon now, and the nighttime was starting to feel cold.

Lloyd couldn't help but wonder how Zane was feeling. He thought of his own dad, and how close they'd gotten in just a few months. If he'd had to lose him...

Lloyd took a shaky breath in. He couldn't imagine it.

"We're lucky," he said after a moment. "I don't think everybody gets to have good dads like we do."

It occurred to him afterwards that maybe he should have said "did", but then he wondered if it would have upset Zane more.

But Zane just smiled. "You're right. I'm very fortunate." He thumbed a new tear away from his eyes, not looking at Lloyd.

"But it's strange." Zane stared at his hands again, his voice choked up. "The pain I feel now that he's gone is exactly the happiness I felt when he was here. I can't celebrate that he's mine without...mourning that he isn't, anymore."

Lloyd bit his lip and nodded. He thought about for a moment and then said quietly, "Maybe that's okay."

They sat in silence a moment longer as the sun sank behind the horizon in the distance. Lloyd swore he could see the glint of a faraway reflection off the surface of the ocean before it disappeared.

He sighed. "I'm not very good at this, am I?" he asked.

Zane's wan smile was only visible by the dying light following the sun. "It's all right. I appreciate the sentiment."

Lloyd groaned and resisted flopping on his back in frustration. "You're not supposed to be comforting _me_!" he cried. "I'm supposed to be comforting _you_!"

"But I'm your brother," Zane answered blandly. "It's what we do."

Lloyd grunted and crossed his arms and _definitely_ did not pout.

"And..." Zane added slowly, "it helps." He set his hand on Lloyd's shoulder, and Lloyd could feel the weight of it even stronger than normal. "To be able to care for others like he wanted me to. Like a little piece of him lives on...through me." Zane's smile was bittersweet.

Lloyd smiled back. "Can I just sit with you for a while?" he asked.

"I'd like nothing better," was the answer.

Lloyd hugged his side, Zane put his arm over his shoulders, and they sat there on the roof and watched the stars come out.

"Thank you," whispered Zane. Lloyd could hardly hear it above the wind in the trees.

"No," he answered just as quietly, and held his brother tighter. "Thank _you_ , Zane. For sharing him with us."

A tear trickled down Zane's cheek, reflecting the light of the stars, but he smiled.

 **the end**

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 **A/N: Zane's line about pain and happiness being the same is inspired by a quote from C. S. Lewis: "The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal."**

 **Reviews are rooftops. Thank you all for reading Grass Clippings.**


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